Monday, May 11, 2009

Spiders

I usually don't mind spiders, when they don't mind me. This year is shaping up to be the exception as I seem to be caught up in a rerun of the 1990 film, Arachnophobia.

My headlights reflected off the asphalt, creating long shadows. Some song off U2's new album nipped at my subconscious, my mind already on home, mere minutes away. The hairs stood at attention on my arm when he landed skittering toward my shoulder. Involuntarily shivering as his eight legs danced, invisible inside the dark car. No shame, I screamed, releasing the wheel to unleash my ninja wrath upon my tormentor. No identifiable remains to be found, I can only assume I got him. This was Wednesday.

On Friday, one of his posse came to call in the blood debt as I dozed lazily in the living room. A small tickle, I reached to scratch, coming away with a handful of hairy legs. Still more blood on my hands.

Yesterday, coming home from Mother's Day in the park, we were paid another visit from the "family." Everyone had settled in for the hour ride home, boys capturing the moment for a quick nap. Our moment of peace shattered as a shriek erupted from the back seat. Cole, curling back in fright, trying to put as much space as the seat belt would allow between himself and the assassin.

Popping my seat belt, I spun to the rescue (T was driving). Wielding a deadly hard back copy of Jack Rabbit Goalie, I lunged, driving full force into his midsection. Turning expectantly to my son, ready to bask in all the glory of being his hero, he said "What are you doing out of your seat. Don't you know the police man could stop us and you would get us in trouble. Go sit back down in your seat."

Don't you love it when you try to help someone out and they give you a hard time. I don't know why people struggle with accepting help sometimes. Pride. Stubbornness. Or maybe like my son they are confused by our methods. It's not what they expected, as we rush in and try to kill the spiders without involving them, all for our glory. I love him enough, not to stop killing his spiders. But maybe I will examine my methods.

12 comments:

Lover of Life said...

LOL! It is that time of year, isn't it? I always try to get my husband to capture them and release them outside. He's not always successful, and I am usually full of "helpful" ideas.

Gabby said...

Oh, I don't like spiders. I scream and whimper whenever I see one. I'm not so humane as lover of life, though. I get my husband to kill them and flush them down the toilet so I know they're dead and won't come back.

To help, or not to help? I can relate to helping others only to receive scornful blows in return. And if you don't help then they'll give you grief over it. Groan. You did good Brian. Kill those creepy crawlies away.

Daniel said...

Did you ever know that you're my hero, you're everything I would like to be. Thank you Bette.

Leah said...

Oh goodness. I generally don't mind spiders, well, as long as they're not crawling on me in a dark car (eeeeek!!!!!) but your powers of description in this post made me feel more than a little like shrieking and batting away an imaginary one!

Brian Miller said...

@Loveroflife - usually i'm pretty good with them until moments like these when...ok lets face it, they threaten i smack down...how terrible of me...lol

@gabby - lol. i think sometimes we help people how we think they need to be helped and they are left wondering what about this...which seems so obvious to them, but may not to us...if we only engaged them in conversation we would understand...ok, rant over....

@daniel - you always make me feel wonderful...

@leah - yeah, looking over my shoulder today...i think they are following me....shivers

Candie Bracci said...

Spiders are the only creepy insect I don't mind,I think.

As for the rest,you got a good point,some don't understand the whole process but kind are thank ful anyway,in their own way.Some don't understand it is help though for a long time,don't realise.So yeah it might be about the methods I guess.

Have a nice day :)

subtorp77 said...

I love spiders! I'll go out of my way to rescue one, if need be. Never done me any harm! And I can relate to the part about the helping. Some people just don't realise it,'til it's too late. Now buckle up!

Michael Rawluk said...

You must be proud of him that he has priorities. It is okay to to smite the evil beast but do it safely.

Ronda Laveen said...

Are you SURE that you got that first spider? Maybe he is just hidding, quietly, secretely licking his wounds and growing in size and strength...daily. And on another dark, solitary night he will...

Lola said...

In Italy it is believed that spiders are bringers of money... Never kill a spider!

I think your son is a very focused, mature boy. I'm sure he knows your intentions were good, he was just being overly formal, perhaps.

Your creepy descriptions made my nervous, I have to check under the bed now, thanks.

:)

Jaime said...

spiders give me the creeps. but since i needed to wade through a house full of spiders to serve a subpoena, i think i'm entitled to my irrational fear of the creepy crawlies

Brian Miller said...

@jaime - a house full...not much fun...process server or law enforcement?

@lola - formal is the last word many would use for my boys...lol. yeah i checked my shoes this morning after writing it....as far as the money...i will now welcome all spiders with a donation can instead of a book.

@ronda - i'll be checking...lol.