Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Canvas


It always begins with an empty canvas. Pure, open, contemplated. An idea, an inspiration. Hands scurry, etching lightly in charcoal. Erasing, changing until a form is created. Vivid colors jump in the artist head, rushing through veins to the brush held ready. Images transferred come to life on before his, her very eyes. Majestic beauty brings tears.

Flurry of motion, emotion as pornographiti spews, scrawling messages, changing the scene. Rorschact blots of splatter paint rain blows upon that which once was there. Confusion. Reality. A new baby. A family before it's time, pushed out before it ever had a chance to bloom. What happened to my serene canvas?

I was asked the question today, "Where do boys learn to court girls?" Being one of those annoying people, I answered the question with a question, "Where do they or where should they?"

Watching their parents, fight, hug, yell, silently. Experimenting in the back seat of a car. Their friends telling stories, made up to impress. Magazines spouting ten ways to land the girl of your dreams, just turn to the centerfold and see. Movies, always depict reality right? The gym teacher, with his tired old football jokes. Cincinnati Been-gals, get it? What guy would be caught dead talking about love with another guy, what are you, gay? Other than the 15 uncomfortable minutes with dad, the birds and the bees. Who ever tells little boys, what love is?

Left to their own devices they figure it out. Many times in reverse. First comes sex, second comes marriage, then figure out love around a baby carriage. Does it have to be this way? It all starts as an empty canvas, who will help them paint?

The picture is by Jack Vettriano. A favorite artist of ours, we have several hanging around the house.

11 comments:

Daniel said...

Sometimes, even late in life, folks (like me) still haven't figured out love. What does it mean? What is it all about? How do you care for someone with respect and caring and time and energy?

Rob said...

Great post. You had multiple good lines in there.

Candie Bracci said...

OH Brian,oh!It's too difficult to answer this,it's too difficult!But wanted to say that your post is something.I love every words,I breathe every words.Days I feel like that..

California Girl said...

"Mommy knows!" was and still is my mantra.

Actually, my sons and I have a healthy line of open communication, even in their twenties. All you can do is encourage your children to talk to you without recrimination. Hard to do, I still give advice. I try to only give it when they ask.

Lovely photograph.

Brian Miller said...

@cali - i think you have a very healthy point. being there, being available as they grow up, in the inconsequential moments allows you a voice and a comfort level when they need you. on the other hand you have to be intentional in what you talk about and show. i just see it a lot...

@candi - definite tough question. thanks for the encouragement.

Leah said...

Definitely a topic of conversation around our house recently, in reverse.

Wonderful post.

Colette Amelia said...

Great post got me thinking...over the years I have found that the most considerate men were the ones that were raised in families with lots of women...sisters, aunties, grandmas.

They seemed to be more understanding of women and seemed to like them more.

but then what the heck do I know? I was the only girl in a family of 4 kids...and then had 3 sons.

Ronda Laveen said...

I think that in times gone by, courting was taught. Like etiquette, dancing, writing and speaking, it was considered one of the arts. A skill important to life. Perhaps it time to renew this apporach. But who will teach? The teachers are gone too.

Lovely post.

willow said...

I agree with Colette, it seems the guys with sisters and good relationships with their mothers have a better understanding of women. Open communication in the family is always a plus, too.

Thoughtful post.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

lovely post...

I have to say I have the same observation as colette...and told my daughter to make sure the man she 'choses' has sisters, and if no sisters a good relationship with his mom and plenty of platonic female friends....

communication is key with that I agree!

Mrsupole said...

I have never thought about it the way Collette put it, but that is probably so true. We used to talk to our brothers about how to treat women and they do housework and things that most men do not. I try to talk to my grandsons about how to treat women. Their moms do too. I have them open the car door for me. They ask for the house key to unlock the house for me. I make them do housework and they always have to help me carry things into the house. I also make them brush my hair and tell them they need to learn this in case they have girls when they get married. They have to cook and do laundry. So maybe it is whether the women in a man's life took the time to teach them these things