Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Spider man

Logan wants a fish. A red herring to be precise, which makes me laugh inwardly every time he says it. Keep chasing it and you will find it. We visited a local pet shop this weekend to marvel at the rainbows created by scale and fin. After a time, we ventured into the spider and reptile hallway...

Maybe they keep it dimly lit for the good of all that is creepy and crawly, or maybe it just makes the aquariums light up all the more as you pass them by. There were long snakes, small snakes, albinos... There was even a PacMan frog, which was kinda cool. At the end of this dark corridor, they kept the spiders...big, fat hairy spiders. Visions of those things from Aliens attaching to my face were already running through my head, these things were so big.

I don't know where he came from, his voice alerting me to his presence, "There are actually larger spiders that live in people's basements."

His monogrammed Pet Store shirt announced he belonged there, as I raised an eyebrow wondering where this was going. "Wolf Spiders are big and they will bite. I got bit once by a Black Widow. They tell you it will kill you , but it did not do anything to me. Well, it did make me a little sick."

Looking to escape, I turned to my family, who seemed to have relocated to another zip code, and found it was just me and Spiderman and all his amazing friends. I exclaimed my astonishment at his survival, as I began to back down toward the light. I will usually talk to anyone, but this one caught me a little off guard. He followed me, making his hand walk like a spider, "You just have to watch out for the Brownie Recluses, because they don't play around when they bite."

Sure I was about to become food for the residents, I came to the end of hall, and freedom provided by putting some space and a few aisles between my new buddy and myself. "Gotta catch up with my family", I scurried away. 

"Come back soon", ran shivers down my spine.

Maybe we'll buy Logan's fish online. 


Daniel said...

This sounds like a bit out of a bad horror movie. Cut to the next scene, Brian is encased in a strong, silken cocoon, with some huge, hairy spider inching its way closer, closer to its next meal.

Marianna said...

You gotta love'em...those spiders lol
Nice story...so did you buy a fish?


tony said...

escaping the web.....!

Brian Miller said...

@marianna...not yet. we are planning on surprising Logan at the end of the school year. He has done so well in Kgarten this year, figured it would be a nice treat...and teach some responsibility.

It felt like an old black and white Hitchcock film, glad I did escape as my imagination ran in the direction of @daniel's comment.

jake (to the) holla said...

that guy could totally have been a freak-of-the-week on an older episode of Smallville, or X-Files...... i wouldn't anger him... he probly has telepathic control over the arachnids via some science-project-gone-wrong

Mrsupole said...

The itsy bitsy spider when up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out. So the itsy bitsy spider went back up the water spout. They are truly one of God's creatures and needed out in the garden to control the insects harmful to the plants. You just gotta watch out for them. But if they come in my house, splat, those suckas are dead.

No actually I have a lot of them that live peacefully hidden in the house, those that get brave and come out do get killed. They keep a lot of other insects out of your house. We get a lot of black widows where I live and because my hubby is a telephone repair man he gets a lot of spider bites crawling under people's houses and into their attics. But usually they have some kind of spray that they spray into the area first to kill the bugs. Now cactus, that is a different story.

Anyway I see you got your award, I hope you enjoy it and pass it along to others.

God bless.

Rob said...

Wow. That would have been scary.

Baino said...

A spider nerd! Gold! I have plenty of the hairy variety trying to make a home on my curtain rods thank you. Actuall Wolf Spiders are very poisonous so why anyone would want one as a pet I have no idea. Run away .. run away!

Cinnamon said...

My first reaction was- LOL! Poor Spiderman needs to get out more.

My second reaction- maybe he is on the higher-functioning autistic spectrum?

Ronda Laveen said...

BIG BELLY LAUGH!!! Actually, I called that Pet Store today to ask about that employee. I was told that no one matching that description worked there nor had ever worked there.

Your instincts were good. I think he was just about to trap you in his sticky web.

Brian Miller said...

@ronda...lol, the plot thickens.

@mrsu...you make me laugh and think at the same time. do not envy your hubby.

@cinnamon...maybe you got him figured out? lol. if a spider would have crawled around his head, I probably would have lost it.

Kitty said...

That guy must have been apoplectic with happiness when that story about the spider in the bananas at Whole Foods came out last week. *shiver*