The Bible Says...

Driving down to Roanoke this evening, I heard a phrase that caused my radar to kick in. Logan said, "Cole, the Bible says..." Growing up in the Church of Religious Pharisee, CORP for short, I find it interesting what the Bible has to say, or at least what some people interpret it to say. Your hair must be at least a half inch above your collar, while your hem line must be half inch below your ankle...

Anyway, Logan had said "Cole, the Bible says we have to pee outside." I was afraid he had heard the guy on the Internet with his "he that pisseth against the wall" sermon, but really he was saying that in Bible times they had to pee outside. I guess if you were a shepherd that was definitely the case, but I corrected Logan in that it was not a commandment, or we would all be in trouble.

What makes this even funnier, in a guess you had to be there kinda way, is that the first time I tried to get Logan to pee outside he refused. We were driving from Maryland to Virginia, late one evening, in one of those long stretches exits, when I heard, "I gotta pee." Knowing the next exit was miles away, I was determined this was a great time to teach Logan about fertilization and environmental stewardship.

Out of the Xterra, on the grassy roadside, I instructed Logan to relieve himself. I gave him the obligatory warnings about checking the wind. He refused. He was not allowed to pee outside. Explaining that it was okay when mom or dad said so, he still refused. After I showed him that lightning did not strike me, he still refused. After extolling him with the virtues of writing your name in the dirt, he refused. Frustrated, we piled back into our vehicle and broke land speed records searching for the next available restroom.

Logan has since gotten over his resistance to public urination, under the proper circumstances. I am still getting over some of the CORP training. When someone tells you "The Bible says...", check it out for yourself. Does not matter who it is, even a pastor. We are human and can make the Bible say a lot of things.

Any funny 'The Bible says..." stories out there? or maybe just a slip of the pastor's tongue?