"Forgive and forget", even the phrase can make me angry. It seems so passive. Honestly it seems like the person is getting away with wronging me. It says, "I don't mind. It did not matter." But I did mind and it does matter. Where is the justice?
They wronged me and I am supposed to just swallow it, not say anything, pack it away in a box and just...let...it...go? When I see them the next time, I smile, pretend like I love them, maybe even share a laugh. The whole time inside, I am dying.
Bitterness becomes a cruel master, lashing your heart with tendrils of anger.
To relieve the tension, we share it with others. "Can you believe what he did to me?" "Watch out for...he will stab you in the back." Oh, it gets much worse, but we feel a small release. Soon enough it will be right back, like this stinking cold.
If it did not mind and did not matter, there would be nothing to forgive.
To borrow a phrase from Desmond Tutu, "There is no freedom without forgiveness."