Saturday, November 1, 2008

Smackdown - Walmart Style

At Walmart yesterday trying to figure out what my costume will be for the evening festivities. The aisles were packed, as it seemed like half of Newport News made the last minute decision to buy a costume. As I slipped out of the aisle, I heard a comment behind be that called into question not only my courtesy but my masculinity.

I turned to make sure I had not inadvertently bumped some one (pretty sure I did not) when her gargantuan partner (think Zeus, from the old, really bad Hulk Hogan movie) says "Yeah she is talking to you..." The dots stand for comments now directed at my mother. Now why do you have to bring someone's mother into this.

As I attempted to apologize, if I had bumped into her, it became apparent that they were primed for a handicap match WWE style. I felt like I was back in the lunchroom at highschool, when all the students gather in a circle to watch the hapless victim that sat in the jocks seat get pummeled.

Realizing that nothing I could say would derail the pain train, I just smiled and walked away. There are much better things in life than duking it out on aisle 3. I figured they got off lucky, because little did they know, I've seen most Chuck Norris movies, and that just about qualfies me as a black belt.

5 comments:

Daniel said...

Good decision. Sometimes I feel, and yes I know that we are all God's children, that some folks are just not worth it. Am I wrong?

Brian Miller said...

There was definitely a time in my life I would have kicked it into a higher gear as opposed to walking away. I have to ask, if I do this, if I get into a fight in Walmart, and I win...what do I really gain? and what do I lose?

Brad said...

truly unbelievable. wow.

Cabo said...

HA... they also don't know that you resort to foreign objects when necessary... "Man Down.. Aisle 3.... Perp had an Ironing board and a Hulk Mask....".

You'd have won but you'd have lost where it mattered.

Well played.

Rob said...

The important thing is you found a way to mention Hulk Hogan's epic "No Holds Barred". It starred Tiny Lister as Zeus and it is awesome. My brother and I quote it all the time.