I think sometimes we confuse forgiveness with tolerance or indifference. To really find freedom, we have to deal with our pain, with the monster we have let build inside of us, or our forgiveness is token at best.
In the message of Jesus, I find less about "forgive and forget" and more about deal with it and forgive. When we deal with our hurts, it does not allow the deceptive bitter bile to take root. Dealing with it means we have to talk about it, to the person that hurt you. When we keep short accounts, we don't make a bed for the "Snot Monster" to make a home in. When we let the person know "it did matter", "it did make a difference" we make the relationship the priority.
Forgiveness is about not letting what happened determine the people we will become. Forgiveness is about putting it out on table, as opposed to keeping it inside, or avoiding the offender. Forgiveness is about bringing people back together, not dividing them further.
It is not easy. Battling monsters never is. It is better than settling for cheep imitation forgiveness.
I dunno maybe I am just full of snot.