Why the Dinosaur should stay extinct

Reclining after a relatively long day yesterday, I innocently flipped open the laptop to check out the days news. The Yahoo! headline read Dinosaur "dance floor" found in Utah. It seems, geologists have discovered prehistoric animal tracks so densely packed on a 3/4-acre site that they're calling it a "dinosaur dance floor."

That was when it happened. I felt my hair grow longer in the back, shorter on the sides. The knees of my jeans ripped and a Members Only tag grew out of my jacket. I knew this was the onset of a bad 80's flashback.

Its the summer of 1988 and over the radio comes "Boom, boom, shakalaka, boom..." A band called Was not Was, through their ingenious lyrical articism, introduced everyone to the Dinosaur dance in Everybody Walk the Dinosaur. A sampling of the eloquence..

It was a night like this forty million years ago

I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go

The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice

I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice

And Walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

How this could make it on the radio, while our garage band floundered I will never know. I have news for the scientists...all those prints...there from when the fossils rolled over in their graves upon hearing the song.

So now I sit exhausted still trying to eradicate the rhythm from my brain, fearful of the next time the 80s come back to haunt me.